To All the Mothers…

10 Incredible Motherhood Quotes to Make Mom Feel Amazing:

Mother’s Day 2010 forever changed my feelings regarding this day. I would like to say that I can look at each year as a new and different experience and I believe for the most part, I do that with other aspects of life. Unfortunately, Mother’s Day has remained a negatively tainted day for me that brings a tinge of pain and sadness. For the last 6 years, I have managed my feelings and worked at looking at this day for what it should be – honoring mothers and all that we do while embracing our children who have made us who we are. It has been a personal journey for me that I do not share with others. And, yet, the last week and a half, I have had many women come in for their sessions and a few friends express disdain for this holiday. I came across two women yesterday that when asked how their Mother’s Day was, looked at me with ambivalence. Nothing special. And, although people make all attempts to make this day special for their loved ones, I came to the realization, that mothers yearn for so much more than what this day offers. In talking with several women, none of who know how I personally navigate through my own feelings this day, shared a sense of sadness they always feel despite how their family tries to acknowledge what they do and the residual feelings that linger after. But, here’s the problem – why is it that there is ONE day in which all those around us reflect upon the sacrifices mothers make day in and day out? One day to reflect on the daily grind and the pains, joys, and intricacies that make our jobs more than a job. One day to acknowledge that we, too, need to be cared for and looked at the way we care for and look at our children. This day is almost condescending despite its well intentions. It was even more difficult as I sat there in church and listened to a pastor struggle with how to incorporate Mother’s Day into his homily, considering it is a “secular” holiday. WHAT? Mother’s Day is not a secular holiday and it shouldn’t be minimized to a hallmark day, either. It is a day in which we should honor the women in our lives, as it biblically states we should. The Bible actually states we should honor our mothers (and fathers). This is not an instruction to do just ONE day out of the year, but always! Mother’s Day should be a reminder in how we should honor the women we care for everyday and not take advantage of all the aspects it takes to be who we are.

Who are we? We are women who have miraculously created a home for a growing human in our own bodies and then, throw away our misconceived notion of what we believe our bodies should or should not be like. We are women who despite having not eaten, will feed their children first and sometimes, with our own bodies because it no longer belongs to us. We are women who do not sleep for fear of the unknown and because our children will be forever implanted in our dreams and sometimes, nightmares. A woman whose dreams no longer about herself, but about her family. A woman who has lost the ability to contain emotions because her children make her vulnerable with laughter, joy, pain, and tears. We are women who despite self-doubt, mommy-guilt, and sadness, are strong and beautiful and brave. And, there is not a holiday that can define or dictate how others view our role in this world. Our role in our world is carried through everyday that we care for and love our children (and spouses) because we do not only carry our children for nine months, we carry them forever.

So, for all the women who have felt sadness since Mother’s Day and continue to reflect negatively on what we are not or what we do not have, I would like to share three quotes from men I follow on Instagram that reminded me that I am so much more than Mother’s Day – I am someone important,  who makes a difference everyday:

Mark Hart @biblegeek shared this beautiful message about his wife: “Heaven sends us Mothers that we may have an earthly reflection of God’s heavenly love. There really are no words to describe how blessed our kids are to have this gorgeous soul as their Mother. She is a picture of grace, constant in her love and patient with them (and me) to depths I can only pray to one day achieve. She is a woman after Mary’s own heart.”

Ryan Frederick @fiercemarriage wrote: “Fathers have unique access to their children’s hearts. Their tender love and intentional leadership can build confidence and instill character like nothing else. On the other hand, harsh words and emotional distance can devastate even the most resilient kids. Men…husbands…fathers, the most immediate and potentially impactful way you can love your children is by loving their mother well. They watch, they listen, and they feel the way you love her. They hear how you speak about her when she’s not around. They learn how you respect her by observing directly – even when you don’t think they’re watching. They see how you love her when she’s hurting, after you’ve had an argument, and when you laugh together. Husbands, love your bride with everything you got. Give yourself up for her, sacrifice your agenda if it means serving her more selflessly. …. Love her fiercely always.”

Mark on @Kellyejensen “hacked” his wife’s account to glorify her by saying, “This girl…is the love of my life. The best mother I know. She is more loving, patient, kind, hopeful, supportive, beautiful, fun, cool, adventurous, wise, and exciting than the kids and I deserve. She is our rock. She takes time every day to think of each of us, what we need, how to connect, how to love us. She teaches me everyday how to be a better man, husband, father, and person. I am beyond blessed to call her my wife and best friend. I just wanted to say (mainly because I never say it outside the confines of our home) that I love her. Am grateful for her. Am impressed by her everyday.”

To all the mothers out there who question their worth and haven’t stopped mulling over their emotions from a weekend ago – these three men have just validated that what we do is not just important on one day, but has affected them all year round and has molded their families to be better than yesterday and to be great tomorrow.

Charise

 

Charise Casiano

About Charise Casiano

Charise obtained her BA degree at California State University, Stanislaus and immediately pursued her MS degree at Mount Saint Mary’s College. During her college years, Charise left for one year to do missionary work. She traveled the United States troubleshooting with teenagers.